How to fight like grown ups without ruining your relationship

fight

Despite how many of us want to say that we’re that one couple that, like, never fights, the fact is that minor disagreements are a part of every healthy relationship. I hate conflict. Even minor things, like writing an email that I know is going to get an unhappy response, make my skin crawl and have me hiding under the covers. Even though I try to avoid awkward situations and hostility of any sort, there comes a time in every relationship where the words have to come out and a fight is inevitable.

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We all go through slumps in our relationship where it feels like nothing you/they do is right and that can be normal, but bottling up your emotions will just make your hostility grow and can ruin a relationship. You need to get everything out in the open and if possible do it in a calm way that won’t escalate things. If you find you’re fighting constantly (more than 20% of the time) then it might be time to consider if the relationship is working. These tips will help you fight like grown ups — that means you’re not making low blows or resorting to name calling (unless they really are being a butthead).

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瞑想

Calm down
Sure, things need to be said and you’re boiling mad right now, but this is not going to be a rational conversation. Separate until you’ve both cooled down (I recommend taking a walk because it is relaxing while at the same time gives you time to practice your arguments in your head) and then restart the conversation later. Trust me, it will be over so much faster and will definitely involve fewer tears.

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Larissa Thorne (Deputy Editor)

Larissa Thorne (Deputy Editor)

When I'm not working on getting my first novel finished you'll find me buried under the great wall of credit card debt that I've collected over the years. I am a hoarder of shoes, jewellery, books and Disney DVDs and am physically incapable of restricting my chocolate intake.

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